I'm feeling the need to vent...

I'm going to give a heads up. This blog may, and probably will, offend some of the readers. I don't apologize, I only give you warning. Read on, only if you dare…

To begin, I'd just like to say I have major issue with the culture within Utah. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying I hate the LDS church or that I'm anti-religion or anything… let me explain. If you go anywhere outside of Utah, anyone of the LDS faith is like anyone of any other religion. Yes they still think their religion is THE right one, but it is not so blatantly forced upon any mere bystander that comes in contact with them. True, not everyone in Utah falls in to this category, but I've come across some rather disconcerting examples of such behavior lately, and so this blog was given sustenance.

First and foremost, and I'm going to make this one short due to the fact I could be opening Pandora's box here… There is a reason for a separation between church and state. Let's keep it that way. The government isn't going to start sponsoring certain churches, so why do certain churches insist on sponsoring certain bills, propositions, candidates, etc.? You would think that since a church gives its followers the ability to choose for themselves between right and wrong, they would sit back and hope that the lessons, discussions, information taught would have somehow sunk in and the patrons would chose the "correct" choice without the church trying to steer them in the way they see fit like you would a herd of cattle.

Second case in point, what I refer to as Stepford syndrome seems to run rampant here. In an effort to seem "closer to perfection" people do things they don't want to, pretend to believe things they don't, and are seemingly in constant competition with neighbors and fellow churchgoers over who is the better mormon, all in an effort to fit in. I could give more examples than I even wish to think of in regards to this, but I'll narrow it down to a select few.

When Heath Ledger died there was this big debate of whether or not he was going to hell for acting in the movie Brokeback Mountain. (Yes, I'm aware that this was not just Utah, but let me continue) My friend got in a conversation with a few receptionists he'd come in contact with through his job, and the fact that Mr. Ledger had died came up. One receptionist asked who he was and the other proceeded to say, "He's an actor, he was in Brokeback Mountain… NOT THAT I'VE SEEN IT OR ANYTHING!!" It doesn't matter. It's a movie. (And a good one at that, in my opinion.) Solely because it was so shunned in this state and people who went to see it were either viewed as a) gay, b) closeted gay, or *gasp* c) one who supports the gay lifestyle, she automatically felt the need to defend herself in the fact that she hadn't seen it for fear of being seen as one of the above listed options.

Another thing I've seen more than I'd like to admit: beautiful, made-up, painted on happy faces that skillfully hide the ache of addictions, betrayal, abuse, etc. These women try to make everything in their life perfect (houses, children, wardrobes, even going as far as altering their bodies with plastic surgery) all in an attempt to hide the ugliness they live with on a daily basis. They're scared to let anyone in out of fear that they won't be seen as a good person anymore based on the fact that their husband is addicted to porn, or the fact that they can't make it through the day without their daily dose of Prozac and a few Xanax or Valium, or perhaps they're just scared people will see that they've gone $50k in to debt just in order to "keep up with the Jones family". I've seen it go as far as a family sending away their child due to the fact that she was just too different. The kid didn't fit into the cookie cutter lifestyle of the neighborhood, so off she went to a place that would "help her be normal".

The last example I'll give is yet another I hear of, and see, all too often. Pretend believers. I'm talking about the people that go to church every week because mommy tells them to, go on a mission because it's the next step, and get married in the temple, not because they believe it is the right thing, but because they'll be outcasts if they don't. These are the people you'd hear talking about the hot guy/girl they had sex with that weekend, or saying "Man, I was SO wasted, I passed out" and then you'd see them being Molly Mormon and Peter Priesthood at church on Sunday. I've never understood this. My favorite is the people I went to high school with saying "I'm leaving on my mission on a week, so I've got to stock up now" in regards to sex, drugs, alcohol, you name it… Now don't get me wrong, I have NO ISSUE with people who whole heartedly believe in religion. If that is how you feel, you are more than welcome to it. I guess I just don't get the concept of religion for show. Sooner or later, it will come out that you don't believe it. Either that or you'll live your life a hollow shell of a human, pretending to be something you're not, all in the name of fitting in.

Finally, and what has been weighing on my mind the most out of all of this… SEX. Or, let me rephrase, the lack thereof. I'm not talking about the action; I'm talking about education, conversation, explanation… ANYTHING along those lines. I don't understand why it is such a hush hush thing. Do people not realize that by making sex a forbidden subject within their homes, they are only doing a disservice to their children? Add on the fact that 90% or more of schools are required to teach an abstinence only curriculum in order to get state funding they so desperately need, and you wonder why there is such a high rate of "oopsies." I was having a conversation recently with a teenage girl who didn't know what sex was. We are not talking a child here, we are talking a 15 year old who didn't realize that what was going on between her and her boyfriend was still considered sex even though they weren't trying to make a baby. If they are not taught at home, and they are not taught at school, where do you think they are going to go for their information? They aren't going to just sit back and say, "Hey since I don't know anything about this thing called sex, I'm not going to experiment with it, because that could end up bad." (No matter how hard their parents hope and pray that they do just that.) No, they are going to go to their friends, or anyone who will talk to them about it. Who would you rather your kids learn from, you or the ill-informed neighbor kid down the street that may or may not have his own facts straight. Not only are there the "oops babies" to worry about, but there are the "oops infections" as well, which, contrary to what seemingly a lot of people think, can't all be cured by taking some pills. And all of this doesn't stop just because someone graduates the teenage years. I know twenty-somethings who still don't understand the concept of safe sex, because they never were taught about it in the first place. I know it's a hard thing to talk about, but just because you talk to your kids about sex doesn't mean they are going to go out and do it. In fact, if you talk to them about it, its more likely that they won't have to go out and experiment to find out what its all about on their own. If you don't believe in sex before marriage, there are ways to talk about sex, and educate about sex, without condoning it. Plus, wouldn't you rather teach your kid about safe sex so that just in case they decide they want to, they have enough knowledge to keep themselves disease and baby free? I just wish more parents would understand this point, I don't think it's that hard of a concept.

All in all, I'm not trying to bash anyone's religion. If you feel it a part of you, believe it to be true, then more power to you. I'm just saying I'm sick of walking around Stepford Suburbia knowing all too well what lies beneath the façade, having witnessed it, experienced it, and grown up around it most of my life.