My little list of rants and raves: December 2008

23 December 2008

Christmas Tag

I was tagged my Mimi, so here we go...

Wrapping paper or gift bags? Most of the time paper. Depends on what I'm wrapping.
Real Tree or Artificial? Varies. Usually artificial, but there have been years I managed to sneak in a real one ;)
When do you put up the tree? The day after Thanksgiving
When do you take the tree down? sometime between Christmas and New Years day
Do you like eggnog? Yep!!
Favorite gift received as a child? I have so many! Probably the most memorable are my "I been lookin for you" doll, or the doll I used to play with when my grandma and grandpa Lords babysat me that Grandpa gave to me after Grandma died, the Chrismas before he died.
Hardest person to buy for? My in-laws, they have everything and anything they don't have they just go out and get it.
Easiest person to buy for? My mum. She's the most grateful person I know.
Do you have a nativity scene? Yes.
Mail or e mail Christmas cards? Mail. Its more fun that way.
Worst Christmas gift you ever received? Porto-Jon (Basically a plastic bag that you pee in. On the box it says "Perfect for men, women, and children! Leak proof! Re-use it until its full!" It was a while elephant gift)
Christmas movie? Either National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation or A Christmas Story. Every year we watch Christmas Vacation as a family on Thanksgiving night, and every Christmas Eve I watch A Christmas Story at least twice, usually more than that, as I wrap presents.
When do you start shopping for Christmas? Black Friday usually kicks off my shopping for the season
Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? I don't think I have
Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? Cashew brittle that my neighbor at mum and dad's house makes. Its delicious! And my mum's hot bread out of the oven. Mmmm!
Lights on the tree? White
Favorite Christmas song? Anything by the Trans Siberian Orchestra or Josh Groban
Travel at Christmas or stay home? All my traveling is within the SL valley.
Can you name all of Santa's reindeer? Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen, and Rudolph
Angel on the tree top, or star? Star
Open presents Christmas eve or morning? PJs Christmas Eve that the elf brings, everything else Christmas morning.
Most annoying thing about this time of year? Waiting. Waiting in line, waiting to park, waiting to give people their presents (that one is the hardest for me)
Most favorite thing about the season? Giving. I love seeing people's faces as they open their presents, and I LOVE knowing that the faces I don't see are the ones that will mean the most. (Few people are going to get that, sorry)
Favorite ornament, theme, or color? My red blown glass spirals are my favorite on my tree that I have, but growing up it was the candy ornaments that we hung on the tree that were I don't even know how old, but every kid that has ever seen them has licked them at one point or another. Gross, I know. But I love them!
Favorite food for Christmas dinner? I don't know. Its all amazing!
What do you want for Christmas this year? :)

19 December 2008

15 December 2008

Playing catch up

People have been asking me for a while to put the blogs I post on myspace on here as well so they can read them. I played catch up this morning, and they're all on here now.

No more whining ;)

I'm feeling the need to vent...

I'm going to give a heads up. This blog may, and probably will, offend some of the readers. I don't apologize, I only give you warning. Read on, only if you dare…

To begin, I'd just like to say I have major issue with the culture within Utah. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying I hate the LDS church or that I'm anti-religion or anything… let me explain. If you go anywhere outside of Utah, anyone of the LDS faith is like anyone of any other religion. Yes they still think their religion is THE right one, but it is not so blatantly forced upon any mere bystander that comes in contact with them. True, not everyone in Utah falls in to this category, but I've come across some rather disconcerting examples of such behavior lately, and so this blog was given sustenance.

First and foremost, and I'm going to make this one short due to the fact I could be opening Pandora's box here… There is a reason for a separation between church and state. Let's keep it that way. The government isn't going to start sponsoring certain churches, so why do certain churches insist on sponsoring certain bills, propositions, candidates, etc.? You would think that since a church gives its followers the ability to choose for themselves between right and wrong, they would sit back and hope that the lessons, discussions, information taught would have somehow sunk in and the patrons would chose the "correct" choice without the church trying to steer them in the way they see fit like you would a herd of cattle.

Second case in point, what I refer to as Stepford syndrome seems to run rampant here. In an effort to seem "closer to perfection" people do things they don't want to, pretend to believe things they don't, and are seemingly in constant competition with neighbors and fellow churchgoers over who is the better mormon, all in an effort to fit in. I could give more examples than I even wish to think of in regards to this, but I'll narrow it down to a select few.

When Heath Ledger died there was this big debate of whether or not he was going to hell for acting in the movie Brokeback Mountain. (Yes, I'm aware that this was not just Utah, but let me continue) My friend got in a conversation with a few receptionists he'd come in contact with through his job, and the fact that Mr. Ledger had died came up. One receptionist asked who he was and the other proceeded to say, "He's an actor, he was in Brokeback Mountain… NOT THAT I'VE SEEN IT OR ANYTHING!!" It doesn't matter. It's a movie. (And a good one at that, in my opinion.) Solely because it was so shunned in this state and people who went to see it were either viewed as a) gay, b) closeted gay, or *gasp* c) one who supports the gay lifestyle, she automatically felt the need to defend herself in the fact that she hadn't seen it for fear of being seen as one of the above listed options.

Another thing I've seen more than I'd like to admit: beautiful, made-up, painted on happy faces that skillfully hide the ache of addictions, betrayal, abuse, etc. These women try to make everything in their life perfect (houses, children, wardrobes, even going as far as altering their bodies with plastic surgery) all in an attempt to hide the ugliness they live with on a daily basis. They're scared to let anyone in out of fear that they won't be seen as a good person anymore based on the fact that their husband is addicted to porn, or the fact that they can't make it through the day without their daily dose of Prozac and a few Xanax or Valium, or perhaps they're just scared people will see that they've gone $50k in to debt just in order to "keep up with the Jones family". I've seen it go as far as a family sending away their child due to the fact that she was just too different. The kid didn't fit into the cookie cutter lifestyle of the neighborhood, so off she went to a place that would "help her be normal".

The last example I'll give is yet another I hear of, and see, all too often. Pretend believers. I'm talking about the people that go to church every week because mommy tells them to, go on a mission because it's the next step, and get married in the temple, not because they believe it is the right thing, but because they'll be outcasts if they don't. These are the people you'd hear talking about the hot guy/girl they had sex with that weekend, or saying "Man, I was SO wasted, I passed out" and then you'd see them being Molly Mormon and Peter Priesthood at church on Sunday. I've never understood this. My favorite is the people I went to high school with saying "I'm leaving on my mission on a week, so I've got to stock up now" in regards to sex, drugs, alcohol, you name it… Now don't get me wrong, I have NO ISSUE with people who whole heartedly believe in religion. If that is how you feel, you are more than welcome to it. I guess I just don't get the concept of religion for show. Sooner or later, it will come out that you don't believe it. Either that or you'll live your life a hollow shell of a human, pretending to be something you're not, all in the name of fitting in.

Finally, and what has been weighing on my mind the most out of all of this… SEX. Or, let me rephrase, the lack thereof. I'm not talking about the action; I'm talking about education, conversation, explanation… ANYTHING along those lines. I don't understand why it is such a hush hush thing. Do people not realize that by making sex a forbidden subject within their homes, they are only doing a disservice to their children? Add on the fact that 90% or more of schools are required to teach an abstinence only curriculum in order to get state funding they so desperately need, and you wonder why there is such a high rate of "oopsies." I was having a conversation recently with a teenage girl who didn't know what sex was. We are not talking a child here, we are talking a 15 year old who didn't realize that what was going on between her and her boyfriend was still considered sex even though they weren't trying to make a baby. If they are not taught at home, and they are not taught at school, where do you think they are going to go for their information? They aren't going to just sit back and say, "Hey since I don't know anything about this thing called sex, I'm not going to experiment with it, because that could end up bad." (No matter how hard their parents hope and pray that they do just that.) No, they are going to go to their friends, or anyone who will talk to them about it. Who would you rather your kids learn from, you or the ill-informed neighbor kid down the street that may or may not have his own facts straight. Not only are there the "oops babies" to worry about, but there are the "oops infections" as well, which, contrary to what seemingly a lot of people think, can't all be cured by taking some pills. And all of this doesn't stop just because someone graduates the teenage years. I know twenty-somethings who still don't understand the concept of safe sex, because they never were taught about it in the first place. I know it's a hard thing to talk about, but just because you talk to your kids about sex doesn't mean they are going to go out and do it. In fact, if you talk to them about it, its more likely that they won't have to go out and experiment to find out what its all about on their own. If you don't believe in sex before marriage, there are ways to talk about sex, and educate about sex, without condoning it. Plus, wouldn't you rather teach your kid about safe sex so that just in case they decide they want to, they have enough knowledge to keep themselves disease and baby free? I just wish more parents would understand this point, I don't think it's that hard of a concept.

All in all, I'm not trying to bash anyone's religion. If you feel it a part of you, believe it to be true, then more power to you. I'm just saying I'm sick of walking around Stepford Suburbia knowing all too well what lies beneath the façade, having witnessed it, experienced it, and grown up around it most of my life.

Pee and Popcorn

Picture this, I'm sitting in my office, happily working away my day (well, as happily as you can be at work) and in walks this cute little pregnant lady with her 18 month old daughter in tow. They came in my office to go over the family accounts, and left behind an overwhelmingly unpleasant odor. I tend to not have much of a gag reflex, but this one has me questioning the stability of my stomach contents. I deal with many homeless, down on their luck patients, so this odor is not a strange occurrence… but wow, this is easily the worst I've encountered thus far. The little girl ended up needing a diaper change so bad she left a wet spot every time she sat, and the mom was emphatically waving her arms throughout the entire conversation, adding her *unique* aroma to the mix. I just kept telling myself that they must just be going through a hard time, maybe they can't afford diapers, maybe they can't buy the best soap… or any soap at all. Wouldn't be the first time I've seen that situation. That is probably why they are in here fighting with me over a balance most would consider minuscule. When we were finally able to agree on a discounted balance for her to pay to close out the case she pulled out a roll of $100 bills. A roll. Like as in a rubber band bank. She decided not to pay with a hundred dollar bill, so next she pulls out another roll full of twenties. Finally she pulls out her wallet that is stuffed to the brim with 1's, 5's, and 10's. Scratch any notion that they can't afford diapers and soap, this lady was packing - in cash - what seemed to be more than what I bring home in 3 months! The case was settled. I was left to my thoughts of why on earth someone with that much money floating around in their purse wouldn't go buy some diapers and soap, all while dousing my office with febreeze and upholstery cleaner.

Next thing I know, I smell popcorn coming from the kitchen area... Amazing, I know, considering the assault my sense of smell had just gone through. More popcorn smell… more popcorn smell… burning popcorn smell… on FIRE popcorn smell.

I've come to this conclusion… BO smells gross, combine it with old pee, disgusting… But when you add in the unparalleled stench of scorched popcorn, only then will you get the full on vomit-inducing, migraine provoking experience I've enjoyed today.

I wouldn't recommend it.

A LOT on my mind...

I don't get people at all, I'm realizing this more and more lately. I deal face to face with a variety of people on a daily basis, both through work and socially and I'm dumbfounded at things some of them do. This is probably going to end up being a hodge-podge of things currently driving me crazy, but mainly I just have to say that people need to stop doing things such as…

- Threaten me with a law suit when I refuse to break federal law for them… even though they PROMISE they won't tell ANYONE.

- Feel entitled to a discount or to have bills written off because they are doctors, attorneys, judges, can threaten a law suit at the drop of a hat, are police officers, or were in the military at one point or another in their lifetime. (Although I must say I am more inclined to give discounts to service men/women)

- When they ask me who is in the picture on my desk and I explain it's a couple of my friends in Iraq, proceed to tell me I'm evil for supporting the war and that I'm helping kill off my generation by being ok with my friends and family getting sent off to die, and then get upset with me when I politely explain I don't support the war, but I sure as hell support my soldiers, and tell me that by supporting the troops I support the war. WRONG!

- Expect things of others that they aren't willing to do themselves

- Pretend I'm stupid enough to buy your lies that wouldn't make sense to a three year old. If you feel the need to lie, please don't do so in my direction.

- Thinking running away from their problems or just ignoring them is going to make it so they are happy as can be and that their problems will solve themselves and never ever ever come back and bite them in the ass. Ever.

- Sitting outside my window at work and, under the assumption that if you can't see me I can't see you, doing things that I would only hope you wouldn't do if you knew someone was watching. Its one way mirrored glass… I can see you.

- Being fake.

- Assuming that since I have tattoos, more than one piercing, don't go to church regularly, and that I defend myself and my actions that I'm a horrible person, a sadist, and someone that corrupts everything I touch.

- Pretending they hate drama and would do ANYTHING to avoid it when in all actuality they thrive on it and wouldn't know what to do with themselves if they had a drama free day.

- Refusing to teach their children/teenagers about sex. Sex isn't a dirty word. If you talk about it, your kids aren't going to go off the deep end, I promise. But if you don't talk about it, odds are they are going to get into a situation that could have been prevented had they been educated, and worst case scenario… they'll be the next 14 year old pregnant girl in my office bawling her eyes out because she doesn't know how she's going to pay for her baby and begging me not to tell her parents.

- Walking into the liquor store announcing to everyone and their dog that you're there "just to get liquor for cooking, you're NOT going to drink it."

- Fishing for gossip. If it was your business, you'd know. If you don't know, there is a reason.

- Telling me my voice is too sexy for the job I have. (I know, shocked me too, but it keeps happening) No, I don't want to be a phone sex operator. No, I'm not going to give up my day job. And please, for the love of all that is holy, don't ask me to say phrases just to hear what they'd sound like.

- Stare. Its not nice. Especially if you're the creepy pedophilic-looking man on the office cleaning crew, or the stalker-ish chic in the Jeep outside my window.

- Chase ambulances and take 40% of the settlement. This one really only applies to attorneys. A few specific attorneys.

- Tell me that my life would be perfect if only I were religious. Wrong. Bad things happen to everyone.

- Get mad at me when I return to work from a week off and don't give you details other than the fact it was for health reasons.

- Creeping me out. That is just not good for business, my friend.

- Make fun of people for things they did not choose or can not change. This is a subject I could go on for days and days about… but seriously, if its something someone couldn't change even if they wanted too, its just uncalled for.

Another thing on my mind is, have you ever noticed how a lot of times when people make an over the top firm statement about themselves its rarely true? Especially when repeated multiple times. They're trying so hard to prove its true, that they think if they drill it into your head that you'll believe them. For some it must work… to me, its annoying.

Take care of your children, I beg you!

Something I see constantly is parents not taking care of their kids. I get that you're a parent. I get that you have to bring you children with you to my office. I'm more than ok with that. For the most part, my office is pretty kid-proof. I have treats for the little ones to keep them occupied while I help their parents and coloring stuff for if the visit ends up going longer than usual. I admit, its no fun house or play-place with built in slides and a ball pit, but for what are supposed to be 5-10 minute appointments, it'll do. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not expecting these kids to sit in a chair in the corner and stay dead silent the whole time… I've been a nanny, I know that's not how things work. What I'm talking about is the parents who bring in their kids and one of the following situations occur:

a) The parents try to shut the door and lock the kids out of my office, leaving them in our lobby to un-pot the plants, turn the chairs upside down and use them as push-cars for races down the hallway, rip apart phone books, etc. (none of which is then cleaned up by said parents or children)

b) They shut the door and lock them in my office with us and then refuse to tell them "No" when they try to do things like get into my desk drawers, unplug the back of my computer, type on my keyboard as I'm getting things off the printer, color on the back of my desk in the permanent marker they dug out of mommy's purse, etc., and then get mad at me when I let the child know (gently, mind you) that behavior is not ok, OR

c) They bring in their six to eight children that they started having at age 14 or 15, the oldest of which can't be older than MAYBE ten, then proceed to have their maybe ten year old translate for them (with occasional assistance from the maybe nine year old). They then get offended when I call our in-house service to get a certified interpreter's help when inevitably we run into words the kids don't know and "get back" at me by encouraging their kids to wreak havoc on my office. I don't speak 100% fluent Spanish, but don't assume that just because I used an interpreter I can't understand what you're saying.

To be completely honest, I love kids. Not wanting my own currently, but as long as they aren't mine… they're great! I just wish the parents took more control of their offspring so my office didn't look like a bomb went off every time certain families show their faces.

On the other hand… PLEASE, don't beat your children in front of me.

I appreciate that you're trying to make your children behave, but there is a point where it gets taken too far. Don't drag your poor bruised up little sweeties in here and expect me not to say a thing as they cower at every slight move of your hand. The candy on my desk is there for a reason. They asked, I said yes, DON'T knock them upside the back of the head when they take a piece. Even more so, don't do it hard enough that the momentum forces them forward so they in turn hit the front of their head on my desk. Yes, I know, each parent has their own method of discipline… HOWEVER, you are in my office and I am not one to just sit back and watch when things like this occur. Don't act upset when I ask you not to beat your child in my presence. And, really, don't act surprised when DCFS come knocking at your door for a welfare check on your children.

05 December 2008

Ab-fab dahling!

Here are the rules for receiving the fabulous award:

You have to pass it on to 5 other fabulous blogs in a post.
You have to list 5 of your fabulous addictions in the post.
You must copy and paste the rules and the instructions below in the post.

Instructions: On your post of receiving this award, make sure you include the person that gave you the award and link it back to them. When you post your five winners, make sure you link them as well. To add the award to your post, simply right-click, save image, then "add image" it in your post as a picture so your winners can save it as well. To add it to your sidebar, add the "picture" gadget. Also, don't forget to let your winners know they won an award from you by emailing them or leaving a comment on their blog.

My sister Mimi tagged me so... YAY I'm fabulous :) Here is my little list of fabulous addictions:

1) COLORFUL MAKEUP: I'm way too cheap to buy MAC most of the time, so when I found the FLIRT! line of makeup that I use now I was in heaven!! Its MAC makeup, but half the price. I was in love. I love playing around with it and using shadowing and colors to have different effects depending on what look I'm going for.

2) EGYPTIAN COTTON SHEETS: I know, it sounds ridiculous, but I have a couple sets of sheets that are like 1300 count egyptian cotton and they are AMAZING! I just love that they are super soft and luxurious, plus the fact that they stay cool to the touch but keep your bed just warm enough.

3)CREATIVE TOOLS: Fabric and thread, colored pencils and paper, paint and canvas... anything that lets me express myself in one way or another. I went for months without knowing where my pencils were and when I finally found them in storage I felt like I had found my long lost child!! (To be more specific, they were REALLY nice Ticonderoga colored pencils that seemed to cost me what a child would, so I feel quite justified in that feeling!)

4)PURSES and SHOES: I know, seems cliche to have those on a fabulous addiction blog... but its true! I love colorful, patterned, fun purses and bags, and have a whole shelf of them in my closet. Even moreso, I LOVE SHOES!!! I have more than I care to count, and the collection keeps growing. It started as "Every woman needs sexy black heels." Then came the brown heels, the red heels, sport sneakers, the purple flats, pink flats, running shoes, hiking boots, green heels, more black heels, more brown heels, black flats, fuzzy boots, hooker boots... and on and on and on! ZAPPOS.COM is my worst enemy, yet my best friend when it comes to this addiction.

5) BATH BOMBS: This is a bit of a problem for me now seeing as how my current house doesn't have a bath tub, just a nice walk in shower. However, when I have access to a bath tub, these are the best things ever! They are these huge fizzy baseball sized things that smell delicious and make your skin amazingly soft. Throw one in a hot bath and it dissolves into pure relaxation!

Ok, there is my list of fabulousness... :)

My little list of rants and raves