There is something that I’ve found a bit troubling lately and am feeling the need to vent. I wasn’t going to because I figured no one would really want to read it, but then I realized it was my blog and I could do whatever I wanted. Today this is my sounding board. (Yet again… sorry, I’m a bit pessimistic in my writing lately. I’ll work on that)
I am overwhelmingly sick and tired of people not thinking before they act and then appearing surprised when the result of their actions comes around to bite them! I am not saying I’m perfect at this by any means, but I think due to the fact that I was raised knowing my actions (good or bad) would have a corresponding consequence I figured thinking about the outcome before making a move was common knowledge. I am SORELY mistaken.
Things I have witnessed (or been on the receiving end of) lately have me questioning the wisdom and abilities of my generation. What happened to being held accountable?! What happened to consequences? What happened to the simple habit of thinking before you speak or act? Are empty promises so commonplace now that “I promise” has been downgraded to meaning “if I feel like it at the time, I’ll try and pull through for you”? I apologize if I’m old fashioned, but I feel one should always be genuine in their words and actions. If you promise to do something, follow through. When you screw up, take responsibility. Above all else, when you say something such as “I’m sorry” or “I love you”… mean it. I’ve never heard phrases that used to have such deep and emphatic meaning thrown around with such frivolity. Is this just me, am I the only one who is devastated by the loss of what I consider to be a foundational element of society? Is it really a generational thing, as it appears to be? I remember talking to my grandma about how giving your word used to be “as good as gold”, meaning without even saying the phrase I promise, if someone said they’d do something you could consider it done. It saddens me that now, even with endless promises and swearings upon the graves of relatives and such, a person’s word is pretty much worthless.
This one big issue breaks down into so many little issues, I’d have a novel if I tried to write them all out. I’m only going to focus on one this time, but I’m hoping the rest won’t be overlooked…
The thing that seems to be at the root of all of this lately… Lying. I’ll admit I wasn’t always a stellar example of this; it took a few hard lessons growing up before I realized what I wanted to be seen as, and what I’d need to do to get there. I’d talk to my mum about it she would remind me of the “crying wolf” story and why its always good to tell the truth, no matter what. As I got older, I realized the accuracy behind that. In high school I became friends with a girl who I later found out was a pathological liar. My friends and I would listen to her over the top stories with wide eyes and eager ears, but a seed of doubt was always there in the back of our minds. The stories just seemed TOO incredible. After about a year and a half of lie after lie, a few close friends and I managed to cut her out of our lives. We decided we did not want or need that influence. A bit later a rumor was going around school that this girl’s father had died without warning and that their whole family was devastated. Every single one of us had the exact same reaction to this news, “Yeah right, its another ploy for attention, its sad she would take it that far.” Turns out, her father really had passed away, but due to the fact she had lied so often and about every little thing, no one believed her until the day of the funeral. As I graduated high school and moved on in life I thought I would no longer run into this type of situation, but boy was I wrong! Not only have I run come across these situations at my work (which had I not previously established the fact that I was an employee they could trust, I could have and most likely would have lost my job), but I continually see it occur in my personal life as well. I’m not talking younger people trying to get away with something and feeling it necessary to lie, I am talking about people my age, older than me, some even older than my parents who appear to have never learned the significance of honesty. Not only honesty, but also reliability, accountability, and something that in my opinion ties them all together… Respect.
I’ve said this a million times, and I’ll say it again; in my mind I see a lie as a slap in the face. It is basically telling me 1) you don’t respect me enough to tell me the truth, 2) you don’t think I’m smart enough to figure out you’re lying to me, or (this is where I lose a lot of people) 3) you don’t respect yourself enough to be trustworthy. The first two are pretty self explanatory, but as for the third… Who wants to be seen as a liar? Wouldn’t you think a person with any minuscule amount of self respect would want to be seen in the best light possible? Even to the people with the lowest of standards, being trustworthy is a key component to any relationship formed, friendship or otherwise.
I’m not sure how to go about saying the rest of the things on my mind so I’ll leave it at this:
- If you have to think up a lie for something you’re doing or about to do… chances are you probably are better off not doing it.
- If you love/respect/admire someone, love/respect/admire them enough to tell them the truth, even when it seems difficult. I promise you, any truth is easier to take and get over than the lie it would take to cover it up.
- Sorry (for the most part) only works once per offense. After that it is just another word. May as well be saying “chair” or “red” for all the difference it makes at that point.
- Asking for one more chance more than once makes it so its no longer one more chance… and I don’t know anyone that lives giving “a hundredth chance”
- When you say you’re going to do something, do it. When you say you won’t do something, don’t.
You would think this was common knowledge, you’d think these were simple concepts, things easily attained. You would think...
